Consent Laid Bare
Chanel Contos
Consent Laid Bare
Chanel Contos
The game-changing book about sex and consent that every woman – and man – should read
In 2021, Chanel Contos posted on Instagram asking people to share their stories of sexual assault during their schooling years. This post unexpectedly went viral and almost 7000 people sent in testimonies describing behaviour that constitutes rape. Virtually none of these instances were reported, and almost all of them were by people they knew.
How and why is this happening in an era of growing equality? Chanel Contos argues that when it comes to sex, we are still working with an outdated social contract that privileges men's pleasure at the expense of women's humanity.
Consent Laid Bare challenges the lingering inequality that reinforces this behaviour. It asks if consent is possible in a world where female sexuality has been hijacked by forces such as porn, patriarchy and male entitlement. It gives girls and women the encouragement to seek sex that is truly enjoyable and equips them with the information they need to properly consent. It asks boys and men to become advocates for sex centered around intimacy rather than fuelled by aggression.
It is a battle cry from a generation no longer prepared to stay silent.
Review
Aurelia Orr
In 2019 when I was in high school, I saw a video of a group of schoolboys singing an anthem on the tram, chanting the words, ‘I wish that all the ladies were holes in the road; And if I was a dump truck I’d fill them with my load.’ Consent Laid Bare is a revolutionary call for change, demanding to find the answer as to how in this age of growing equality there is still such a lack of knowledge and awareness among teenagers about sex and consent.
Chanel Contos dismantles the mythologies about rape and the “criteria” for what it looks like. Sex is not a story about the birds and the bees; it is between real human beings. Rape is not something only strangers lurking in the dark commit; it can be your partner, a family member, a trusted friend or colleague. Consent is not only saying ‘yes’; sometimes, women say ‘yes’ because they fear saying ‘no’ will result in them being harmed, or even in their death. Exploring the influence of rape culture, pornography, toxic masculinity, and male entitlement, Contos questions how much women are able to provide consent within the patriarchal framework that distorts heterosexual sex into something transactional and catering to male satisfaction, rather than a willing and mutual celebration of male and female sexuality.
Our society is failing its children and teenagers, but it is not too late to save future generations. I hope for a future in which teenage girls are not reminded through videos of sexist schoolboys that they are only seen as holes for men’s pleasure; a future in which girls in primary school are not told, like I was, to cover their shoulders so boys don’t get distracted; a future in which women do not believe they are alive simply because a man has not chosen to end their life. And I believe this book has the power to change all that.
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