Charlie and the War Against the Grannies

Alan Brough

Charlie and the War Against the Grannies
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Charlie and the War Against the Grannies

Alan Brough

I didn’t want Mrs Cyclopolos to explode. I just wanted a paper round.

My name is Charlie Ian Duncan. I will be 12 on 2 February. I have written this history of my war with the grannies because I need everyone to know that I didn’t mean for Mrs Cyclopolos to blow up. I just wanted a paper round.

When I say ‘my war with the grannies’, I really mean the war I waged alongside my best friend Hils, my second-best-friend Rashid, Peter the Iraqi who isn’t afraid of anything (well apart from one thing), Warren and his magical bike TwelveSpeed and those crazy people we met underground.

The grannies started it when I asked them about a paper round and they sprayed me in the face with rooster brand chilli sauce and made me think that I was dead. Hils and I decided to go to war with them but then I discovered one of the grannies had a glass eye and I wasn’t sure if it was okay to go to war against someone with a glass eye but then I discovered that the granny with the glass eye could pinch bricks in half, turn her snot-covered hankies into deadly throwing weapons and possessed a truly terrible device called the Gnashing Gnet.

It’s all true.

Especially the bit about me not wanting anyone to blow up.


Charlie wants a paper round more than anything in the world, but his attempts to get one are met with mystery and bizarre, unexpected hostility from the elderly women are who currently on the job in his Melbourne neighbourhood.

Charlie quickly calls on his friend Hils, and together they do the unimaginable: they declare war on the grannies. Hils is a wonderful, tough character. Destined for an army career, she is a constant source of survival knowledge and other fascinating trivia. The team are quickly caught up in a ridiculous, often-cartoonish, adventure.

Plenty of funny tangents and gags give this book a very high giggle-per-page rating, especially for those who delight in gross stuff and fart jokes. Care has been taken to publish the book in an enticing format with lots of bullet points, lists, tables and tidbits to encourage readers.

It’s perfect for David Walliams fans who are looking for something new. Like Walliams, Alan Brough has a background in comedy and broadcasting. He has used this knack for entertaining to write a hilarious and super-appealing book for readers aged 8 and up.

Kim Gruschow works as a bookseller at Readings Hawthorn.

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