Extraterrestrial Noir

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An extraterrestrial crashes into a suburban cul-de-sac Colonial, absorbs every bit of binary information ever chronicled in all of human history, rearranges its molecules and presents itself as a couple of late and legendary film noir icons, then immediately displays an appetite for debauchery, depravity, decadence, and destruction, seducing the noir-obsessed family into its psychopathic criminal orbit with irresistible Hollywood panache, alluring sexual charisma, and inconceivable intergalactic powers ... all in the name of saving the family from their emotional, marital, and financial ruin.

But super-genius daughter Mike Devine figures out fast that the extraterrestrial's principal plan is to employ its unfathomable interplanetary muscle and implode the planet. Which leaves the fate of her family, not to mention the world, in her twelve-year-old hands.