Disney Tale of the Tape

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In This Corner...

Ladies and gentlemen! The Disney Boxing Commission proudly presents a full card of theme park fisticuffs between your favorite Disney attractions, restaurants, and resorts. There will be winners, and there might be blood. A Disney theme park guidebook like no other!

Professional boxing judge Dan Sisneros leads a who's who of Disney experts, including Len Testa, co-author of The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World, in unique, round-by-round showdowns between evenly matched theme park opponents. Do you ever wonder what's better, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad or the Matterhorn? Now you're going to find out, as punches fly.

Over multiple rounds each "boxer" is rated on various factors such as theming, queues, backstory, Imagineering, and many others. The judges score each round, evaluating and explaining the good and the bad, and then declare a winner.

No matter how much you know about the Disney theme parks, you've never read about them like this before!

Among the fourteen bouts on our colossal card:

Jungle Cruise vs Kilimanjaro Safaris

Dole Whip vs Mickey's Premium Ice Cream Bar

Haunted Mansion (Disneyland) vs Haunted Mansion (Disney World)

California Screamin' vs Rock 'n' Roller Coaster

Let's have a clean fight, with no punching below the FastPass!