Solar Wars

This title is printed to order. This book may have been self-published. If so, we cannot guarantee the quality of the content. In the main most books will have gone through the editing process however some may not. We therefore suggest that you be aware of this before ordering this book. If in doubt check either the author or publisher’s details as we are unable to accept any returns unless they are faulty. Please contact us if you have any questions.

Solar Wars: Mission Accomplished-ish

They're not the best crew in the galaxy... just the loudest.

Meet the crew of the S.S. Delusion-a ship held together by duct tape, bad decisions, and one very overworked AI. They weren't assigned this mission. They weren't even supposed to be in space. But when a top-secret galactic transmission arrives at the wrong inbox, they do the only logical thing: accept it.

Why? Free snacks.

Captain Slade speaks only in dramatic pauses and vague gestures. SgtSquishyPants barks orders no one follows, from a clipboard that contains nothing useful. Amazingdizzo tracks near-death experiences like sports stats. Yellowsnow, the team's cursed optimist, somehow builds a sentient cake son during a repair. And Brenda, the ship's AI, has reached peak sarcasm and existential dread.

What begins as a not-at-all-authorized mission spirals into full-scale clone rebellions, diplomatic breakdowns (including one accidental engagement), a file war on Bureaucratia Prime, and a frosting-based planetary uprising. Oh-and the toilet opens into deep space now. Don't ask.

This is not a story of brave heroes saving the galaxy.

This is a story of four cosmic screw-ups who trip over the galaxy's problems and accidentally save it anyway.