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Pundits said to me, "You, a 76-year-old husband, can't take care of your 72-year-old wife, who, at the time, was battling cognitive impairment." I replied, "Why not?" They suggested, "Take her to a nursing home; don't kill yourself trying to care for her!" They probably meant well, but I knew better.
I decided to honor the vow we made to each other in 1971: "I take this woman, Agnes Ndungwa Akinyemi, to be my wedded wife... to honor and love her... for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Those powerful words sustained us through her battle with dementia. Deep in my heart, I know that if I had suffered from the same affliction, she would have taken care of me.
My family and I chose to care for her in our home and not in a nursing home, as the pundits had suggested. The challenges were enormous, but LOVE conquered them all. She passed away peacefully at age 76.
May her soul rest in peace.
Dr. John Ayoola Akinyemi hails from Nigeria, West Africa-a country that, at the time of his departure six decades ago to the USA, offered limited opportunities for better education and a brighter future. Like millions of immigrants before him, and many more to come, he found a haven in the United States. He served as a civilian in the U.S. Military for over 25 years before retiring in 2006.
He was married to his beloved wife, Agnes Ndungwa Akinyemi (ne?e Muthiani), for nearly 50 years. He memorialized her in his book, "Coming 2 America," which tells the story of a 15-year-old Kenyan girl who came to America in search of a better life.
Dr. Akinyemi and Agnes have two adult children: Adedoyin Akinyemi, married to Randy Skipper, and a son, Olutobi Akinyemi, who is single. They are proud grandparents to four grandchildren: Randy Skipper, Maleek Skipper, Isaiah Olutobi Akinyemi, and Demetrius Joshua Skipper.
Dr. Akinyemi is an avid gardener, a prolific writer, and enjoys life's simple pleasures, such as bird-watching, brisk walks, and singing to himself. He and his family reside in the Baltimore area, within less than an hour's commute-a true blessing.
