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Greg Vandagriff grew up in an abnormally dysfunctional home. "We grew up in a trailer park without sufficient finances," he explains. "My mother married four times, and my father figures were poor examples. My biological father spent 20 years in federal penitentiary, the second man my mother married was an alcoholic, the third one placed a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. By the time the fourth one came to live with my mom, I was gone."
Fortunately, during his formative years, Greg spent a great deal of time with his grandmother who was a devoted Christian who was faithful to her Baptist church. She made sure her grandchildren attended church when they came for a visit. And Greg credits his high school football coach as the stabilizing force in my life at the time. "More than anyone else, he helped me understand what walking with Christ looked like," he muses.
Greg has since gone on to a stellar 35-yeat career as a football coach. But he insists at this point in his life the most important this is sharing more about Jesus and what God has done for his family.
As men, as dads, we need to own our decisions and the directions we choose to go. Picture being on a road trip with your co-pilot in the passenger seat. As you get further down the road, the GPS shows you a wreck along your route. You're coming upon it quickly. You may ask your co-pilot if they believe you should take the alternate route the GPS suggests or stick with the main route, believing the congestion will clear up soon. It's an immediate question requiring an immediate answer.
With the pressure of the question, your co-pilot may have a few different reactions.
- "Does he expect me to make the decision for him? I don't want that responsibility. What if I make the wrong choice." So he says nothing.
2."I have not been paying attention! I can't make that decision!" So he pleads the fifth.
3."I think you should stay/take the exit." The co-pilot has been paying attention and has an educated opinion.
This situation could lead to nothing; your decision worked out and you never thought of the conversation again. However, if you followed the suggestion of your co-pilot and got negative results, then it's likely you will never forget this decision.
The point of this exercise is ownership. Ultimately, as dads, we need to take ownership of our decisions regardless of the positive or negative outcomes. This is called accountability, and at the end of the day we are responsible to our families.
