Disorder

Previously published under the pen name Israfel Sivad. An avant-garde memoir of psychosis, healing and love. At 37-years-old, Michael Anthony Adams, Jr. wasn't sure any longer if he was hipstered out or truly beat. He was a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. He'd been in psych wards, and he'd spent almost a decade writing his second novel. But then, he found himself inspired in a whole new way. He believed he might be falling in love...

Disorder traces Michael's experiences from a period of homelessness at the age of 32 through his battles with alcoholism and psychosis back to his birth in Southern California. Simultaneously, it weaves a tale of the relationship Michael is trying to build with his girlfriend, Pam.

In this story, the author develops a groundbreaking, nonlinear style that captures both the disjointed madness of psychosis and the natural rhythms of memory. He reveals the reality behind what many of us believe we would never be able to live through: drug addiction, alcoholism and psychotic breaks... and his ability to overcome those demons to discover love, even when it seemed he was already too damaged to let that emotion take hold.

Content Warning: drug use