Fourteen-year-old Jess lives in a small town, loves her mom, hates her grandmother's dog, tolerates her little sister, is dodging a deadly middle school bully, and doesn't like it when people call her Jessica. She desperately hopes her dad will believe her when she finally tells him that a local night school teacher is over two hundred years old, has taken over a local state government building and, with his coven, is turning her mother into a vampire.

Before she can do that, however, Jess and her new friend Stinky (because he always smells like garlic) are entangled in midnight battles with the undead, pet blessings, tanning beds, blood drives and a life-and-death dance party. Stinky happens to be a member of the Van Helsing family and with his help, maybe-just maybe-Jessica's mother stands a chance of being rescued.