Will it take a miracle for this Episcopal priest and MMA fighter to fall in love? Stephen I call him Anthony, though everyone else calls him Tony. Why? Because I know there’s more to this rude, obnoxious, sullen, sexy man. Anthony totally mesmerizes me. He’s like a drug habit I can’t quit. I’m a priest. I should know better. We are friends. Or were. I guess he felt safe with me since I’m a priest. But when he learned that my church is welcoming to gays and that it even has gay priests, he backed off. I haven’t been totally honest with him about my feelings, but I’m sure he senses them. He’s incredible in the fighting cage and wins all his fights. Before Anthony, I never cared for boxing, let alone mixed-martial arts fights. But now? I’m enthralled every time I see him battle it out with an opponent. What does he whisper to them before he pummels them to the mat? I wonder. Why does he keep his guard up with everyone, especially me? He’s pushed me away at every turn. He’s made it crystal clear that he doesn’t believe in anything. Not God. Not anyone. Not even me. I should just walk away. But I just can’t. Every time I look into his eyes something overwhelming and undeniable pushes me to keep holding on to hope. Is there a chance for us or is it just a fool’s fantasy? – Anthony I like sex, but making love? That’s not in the cards for me. If a guy wants more from me than wild, sweaty sex… I move on. There’s plenty of others to choose from. I don’t let people in. It never works out. Never. I made a mistake opening up to Stephen when he moved into Mockingbird Place. Why do I like him so much? He’s a priest. Father Stephen. And he believes in things I see as fairy tales. I have my reasons. I’ve seen the darkest parts of humanity, and I didn’t see any divine light breaking through. I’ve iced him out. I know what he wants, and I can’t give it to him. I’m not white-picket anything. Never will be. But I can’t get him out of my mind. It’s driving me crazy. The only thing I know to do is to shut out everything and jump back into the cage. That’s the only place it gets really quiet for me and I can forget for a few precious moments.
