How to Dress for Every Occasion, by the Pope

Want to dress like the Pope? Well, why not? After all, the Pope is one of the most important people in the world, and gets invited to state dinners and stuff like that, and lives in an ornate place called the Vatican. You, meanwhile, are often dressed like a slob, and spend your days serving coleslaw. (Note: the last part of the preceding sentence applies only to coleslaw servers.) At long last, the Pope presents a book teaching you how to dress for every occasion, called How To Dress For Every Occasion. Get ready, get set, get into snappy dressing!