‘I’ll be revenged on the whole pack of you!’ vowed Malvolio at the end of Twelfth Night, but twelve years have passed in Illyria and nothing has been heard of him. Illyria is a ghost town now: all its young people have left for ‘Upriver’, for the legendary land of Moai, a realm of love requited, fortunes made and dreams come true, presided over by a mysterious figure who may or may not be Malvolio. Whoever he is, the Duke Orsino wants him ‘terminated’ and sends a motley crew of fools and assassins upriver to get the job done. But, as the Ferryman warns them:

Nothing makes no sense where we’re going, no geography, no history, no language.

Minds, meanings, souls and sexes will be transformed in Moai before the lost are found, the evil foiled, and broken hearts made whole.