Beyond the Disappointment of Sex: Understanding the Roots of Partnership Conflict

This book is about partnership problems and the difficulties which come with commitment and marriage. It analyses the origins of those problems, common and less common, and leads the reader along a path from understanding to the possibility of resolution. The author addresses the part played by sexual difficulties, which often arise in long-term relationships but receive little recognition in a society swamped with images of idealised sexuality. Indeed massive exposure to sexual ideals in the media produces an inevitable sense of comparative failure in many people. With divorce now so commonplace, marriage more than ever requires the glue’ of sexual satisfaction to heal conflict and keep love viable. The author’s approach is to show how satisfaction in a partnership depends on understanding both the emotional intricacies of promising to share a life together, and the way these complex issues affect sexual responses – and vice versa. Dr Christie-Brown explores the way individuals bring unconscious demands and unrealistic expectations from the past into their partnerships; unless these are understood, conflict can result. A Tug of War model is used to illustrate the various conflicts that engaging with a partner can bring. The book is aimed at the open-minded reader who is prepared to look at their partnership problems in a new light; complex emotional issues are dealt with in an accessible way. It is also an essential tool for counsellors, doctors, social workers and all those involved in psychotherapy; it combines – in a unique but tried and tested manner – analytical and behavioural disciplines to produce an effective remedy.