They want you to think it’s your fault, to have deep shame & guilt because then they’re off the hook. Toxic shame is the biggest problem to survivors of narcissistic abuse, lasting decades too. It is dumped by the others onto one, going way beyond the mere I did something wrong . The shame dump is subtle and often unconscious as the others join in the fun inflicting pain on the one: It’s cruel outspoken groupies vs. the empath/scapegoat. The bully is always on the horn shaping opinions/balancing forces around her and shame is a trauma response to this war.