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On the métro I ask her if she can see the sea.
She points at me.
Not la mère, I laugh. La mer! The sea!
I can’t see the sea, or myself as a mother, right now. All I see is sneakers and a skateboard and two shabby suitcases, one blue, one red. A soft, sweet head, curls tied up in pigtails, my face in them …
Jayne is a new mother in Paris trying to balance her creative ambition and lust for city life with the instinctual urges of motherhood - and failing.
As her relationship with her husband and the city strains, she searches for answers in a friendship with an older Frenchwoman, the streets, the crowds, in art and writing and new wave cinema… but finds only more questions. Something has to give, but what?
From the critically acclaimed author of Paris or Die and My Sweet Guillotine comes a powerfully written story of desire, art and the complexity of modern womanhood.
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On the métro I ask her if she can see the sea.
She points at me.
Not la mère, I laugh. La mer! The sea!
I can’t see the sea, or myself as a mother, right now. All I see is sneakers and a skateboard and two shabby suitcases, one blue, one red. A soft, sweet head, curls tied up in pigtails, my face in them …
Jayne is a new mother in Paris trying to balance her creative ambition and lust for city life with the instinctual urges of motherhood - and failing.
As her relationship with her husband and the city strains, she searches for answers in a friendship with an older Frenchwoman, the streets, the crowds, in art and writing and new wave cinema… but finds only more questions. Something has to give, but what?
From the critically acclaimed author of Paris or Die and My Sweet Guillotine comes a powerfully written story of desire, art and the complexity of modern womanhood.
Jayne Tuttle wears her heart on her sleeve: such a strange saying, but here, apt because everything she feels is written down, bare as bones, in this glorious immersion into the early years of parenthood. I read it with my hands up to my face, hiding from my own memories, as I gave myself over to the tremendous power of this story
Jayne and her partner have arrived back in Paris, the city where once she nearly died. This time she is pregnant and filled with hope. The plan is to visit, establish their art practices and then head back to Australia. Fate has other ideas, and she gives birth to her daughter in Paris – a bloody, momentous occasion. From there on, the couple and the baby are in a type of limbo, balancing act. Which of the two adults is responsible for which responsibilities? Anyone who has parented a young child understands this: time is now precious. How to be a writer, a money earner, and a parent in a city where none of your family lives? Friends help. Relationships from long ago help. Love for their child helps. Is it enough?
Can you be a feminist with a baby and aspirations? Do you really have any choices? What to do with exhaustion, frustration, beauty, rage, and despair?
The Sea in the Metro is Tuttle’s memoir of these early years, and it places you there alongside her. Her writing is vital, urgent, and heartbroken. It is both a portrait of resilience, a long-term relationship, parenting, and Paris. Read it and weep.
By the by, Jayne Tuttle now lives in Queenscliff where she co-owns the bookshop down there. She has been an actor, a copy writer, an author, a student – and now a bookshop retailer. It makes sense. If I do say so myself, tongue in cheek, all the most interesting people in the world are, in the end, drawn to bookshops.
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