That Damn Girl Stuff: A Mother’s Truth

Every girls journey into womanhood is one she thinks she travels alone. The fact is, not only is she not alone, she’s carrying the baggage of those who have gone before her. Add to that weight the expectations of her being. There is the expectation of her femininity. There is the expectation of her body. Then there is the expectation of her worth. It is the worth that weighs her down the most because she has to figure out her value on her own. Author Phyllis Williams-Strawder struggled to find her worth. She thought her value lay between her thighs, mingled with the cries of every man that she allowed to enter there. The more men she allowed in the more worthless she felt and she blamed herself. She thought she wasn’t living up to the exception of her womanhood. It took all her resolve not to lose herself in despair and depression. Fast forward to Phyllis being 41, pregnant for the third time and no babies. She promised her husband it would be their last try. With each passing day her hope grew. She sighed with relief when they told her, IT’S A GIRL! How quickly her past came flooding back. Her joy is quickly overshadowed by anxiety of growing up a girl. At 18 weeks Phyllis decides they will have the talk. Not the talk of where babies come from. This would be a talk about all THAT DAMN GIRL STUFF mothers neglect to share. It wasn’t until it was actually time for the talk that she realized she had to reveal her biggest secret. That Damn Girl Stuff is a heartfelt, funny, and emotional memoir of preparing a daughter for puberty. It’s also about a mother being transparent and vulnerable in order to teach her daughter her worth.