America’s politically incorrect President knows that the evil but woke Max Magnason has a diabolical plan for world domination (every globalist supervillain has one), but he doesn’t know what it is. Since Max has the corrupt and impeachment-obsessed liberal Congresswoman, Ima Crook, and her allies in his pocket and a deep state spy chief eating out of his hand, the President sends America’s most famous secret agent, the toxically masculine Dick Ironwood, to find out what Max is up to. Meanwhile, Dick is hamstrung by a new Code of Conduct imposed by spy chief V.J. Bouchet, a liberal, deep-state bureaucrat with her own ideas about transformational leadership and a deep hatred for the President. Her new rules are designed to combat toxic masculinity in the NSSSA and usher in a new era of open, empathetic, and inclusive spying, but her ban on cool spy cars (to reduce the carbon footprint) is unpopular, and her rule against lethal weapons (to help NSSSA operatives be good allies to their enemies) starts a strike among the agency’s field operatives. But, worst of all for Dick, he is no longer allowed to initiate deep probes with cooperative female informants! The world famous spy goes undercover as himself with the highly plausible cover story that he has been suspended pending an investigation into charges of toxic masculinity, travels to the cannibal infested (but carbon neutral) volcanic island of Pandemona to recover a missing EMP attack satellite, and discovers Max’s ultimate plan to use mind control microchips to build an army of politically correct zombies and beat the President like a drum in the next election. Along the way, things get complicated when Dick’s arch rival, an arrogant British MIA6 agent who competes with Dick for the attention of an attractive young woman, tells the girl that Dick is gay and claims to have a secret dossier that proves it. The story goes viral, but the odd twist helps Dick infiltrate Max’s operation, and Dick discovers that, in the world of the woke, labels matter more than truth. His cover story evolves with his new, politically correct identity in unpredictable ways, but Dick remains the same as always: a toxically masculine spy on a mission. Unfortunately for Dick, his backup team in Pandemona consists of the liberal and inept Winston Leakey-Peters and Jack, a spy who has been assigned to the K-9 unit because he thinks he’s a dog. Yet questions abound. Will Halodda Bhuti, who fell in love with Max when he gallantly paid for her boob job (he even sprang for the Double Ds!), really love him forever until someone richer comes along? Or will the faithless psychopathic nymphomaniac continue to sexually harass the uncharacteristically evasive Dick? Meanwhile, why did the Russians send their own spy, Anaudya Szludtbvitch, to the island? Does she plan to steal the satellite for the Russians? Or has she been sent by the Kremlin to help Dick save America from the insanity of political correctness?