Discover how some of the silver screen’s most iconic action heroes would really fare after being shot, stabbed, and dropped off buildings in this witty look at the real science behind Hollywood injuries.

Hollywood action heroes shrug off bullet wounds like mosquito bites and jump through panes of glass as if their skin is made of asbestos. But how long would these gun-toting badasses last in the real world? Ain’t Got Time to Bleed catalogs the injuries endured by some of the best-known characters in the action-movie genre and uses authentic medical research to assess their real-life chances of survival. Featuring full-color illustrations that reveal how these hard-boiled icons would really look after being put through the Hollywood wringer, Ain’t Got Time to Bleed delivers twenty-nine hilariously grisly diagnoses that will change the way you watch action movies forever.