If I Die Before I Wake: A Memoir of Drinking and Recovery

Barb Rogers’ book begins with the tragic death of her teenage son, Jon, and delves into the horror that was her life to that point. Due to a home life fraught with substance and emotional abuse, Barb found herself bottomed out more than once, and homeless along the way.
When asked in early recovery if I knew any prayers, the one I could think of was the child’s nighttime prayer, ‘Now I lay me down to sleep.’ As I thought of it, I recalled the long nights when I simply wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.
Barb learned most of her life lessons through pain, tragedy, and addiction. This is not a glamorous book, it is real and it is raw. It is not about survival of the fittest, but the weak, the hopeless, the helpless, the truly addicted, not only to substances, but to drama, anger, excuses, and justifications. She describes how she got to her lowest point, just what it was, and how and why she finally reached out to a 12-step program for help. She shows the reader what it’s really like to survive, to stay clean and sober, and find a way to the other side. Recovery was one of the most difficult things she ever did, but worth every effort I put out.
Barb Rogers would be the first to tell you she’s not special-she’s led a hard life, and she tells her story well and with humor. Readers-addicts or not, but especially addicts-will be inspired by Barb’s grit: if she can do it, so can they.