Hundreds of the most hilarious football jokes around. Perfect for football fans to enjoy in-between those all-important World Cup games, Premiere League matches and European Cup finals. When is a footballer like a baby? When it dribbles. Who’s in goal when the ghost team plays football? The ghoulie, of course! Why is a football crowd learning to sing like a person opening a tin of sardines? They both have trouble with the key. What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squelch? An elephant with wet football boots. How does an octopus go on to a football pitch? Well armed! FOOTBALLER: I think I must have hay fever. How can I stop my nose running? DOCTOR: Tackle it. What’s the best day for a footballer to eat bacon and eggs for breakfast? Fry-day. Why did the millionaire footballer have no bathroom in his house? He was filthy rich.