A Slap in the Face

"Everything great comes from SLAAP." "And SLAAP is always great." Hello, my name is Joni and I wanted to personally thank you for joining our team here at the Student Loans Across America Program (SLAAP). I know it can be challenging when starting a new career. But, you are not just a part of the team, you are part of the family. We welcome everyone here with open arms regardless of your race, nationally, gender, and/or sexual orientations. As someone who has worked for SLAAP for many years, I can tell you that it will not be long before you will start to act and think exactly like the rest of us. We here at SLAAP feel that thinking should be a shared experience so that everyone is on the same page. It's that wonderful? We have also banned the use of all negative words here at SLAAP. The only thing welcome here are big smiles and warm fuzzy hugs. Those are no physical contact hugs, by the way, so don't worry, we respect your safe space. Again thank you for joining the SLAAP family. Before I sign off, can I tell you something in confidence? You really need to watch out for our Human Resources director... he isn't like the rest of us...