A PARODY OF THE BELOVED FANTASY DOORSTOP… ER, SAGA

In the land of the Eight (or was it Six?) Kingdoms–where the seasons last as long as a series of bestselling Tolkien-esque novels–trouble is brewing. The mud is growing muddier, the onions are rotting, the Wall to the North (or is it the South?) is melting, and Lord Barker of Summerseve is getting worried. His wife is addicted to Godsweede, his King is too fat to fit into his armor, and the foreshadowing is out of control. All in all, not the position you want to be in when Summer is coming.

From this world of outdoor fornication with horse-people (and indoor fornication with blood relatives) comes an epic story of novella proportions. Amid plots and counterplots, power-hungry warriors and overworked ravens, poor reception and no wireless, the future of the Barkers, their BFFs, and their enemies dangles in the balance, as each strives to survive long enough to appear in at least two of the sequels.

His teeth might be wooden, but his prose is not.

—J.R.R. Madison

George R. R. Washington cannot tell a lie: A Game of Groans was not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by any person or entity involved in creating or producing any of the Song of Ice and Fire books or the Games of Throne television program. Please direct any inquiries to our legal counsel, Clarence R. R. Darrow.