Select Mediaeval Documents and Other Material: Illustrating the History of Church and Empire, 754-1254 (1900)

Am I a real alcoholic? This is a question asked by untold numbers of people each year. With a tumultuous upbringing in a dysfunctional family followed by an abusive and violent marriage, a blended family, and a bout with the mental health system, the question became very important to me. At the age of forty-three I reached a point in my life where I didnat even know who I was, let alone if I was an alcoholic. Having reached the point of no longer caring if I lived or died, I reached out for one last attempt to discover who I was, why I was here, and more importantly, why my life had been such a non-ending chaotic cycle of drinking and depression. A twenty-eight-day rehab program 1400 miles from home would be the springboard into a journey of self-discovery, which would ultimately change my entire life as I knew it. In this journey I discovered that I, much like an onion, needed to peel away the layers of years that I had experienced to get to the root and foundation of who I really was and what made me tick. Taking away the alcohol and drugs was just the beginning. Today I know the answer to the question and wish to share my exploration of this question so that others, too, may finally answer that question for themselves. I do not speak for all people, only for my life and my journey and my newfound answers.