French Fries & Pirouettes: Eat all the fast food you crave. Then dance your way to a ballerina’s body.

Tad Trifles, a character in the Novel An Inconvenient Amish Zombie Left Behind The Da Vinci Diet Code Truth, escaped from the pages of that book and wrote his own exercise/diet/dance/memoir/polemic. Seizing control of the book, Tom Smucker removed the potentially lethal diet advice it contained and reprinted it here with a Postscript describing its strange origins.