Awesomely gross and rude books that kids will love
Digital content coordinator Bronte Coates shares some of our best picks for the grossest, the rudest and the silliest children’s books.
Let’s admit it: kids are gross and they love gross books.
I’m talking bottoms, snail slime, dog breath, smelly socks, boogers, shark guts – that kind of thing. Of course, it’s very likely that you know children who’d turn up their nose at even the whiff of a fart joke, but I bet you also know a lot of children who wouldn’t. I once asked a rather prim 8-year-old girl what the grossest thing she could imagine was and she had an answer for me immediately: ‘Having to live in a toilet.’ Then she started laughing so hard that she doubled over holding her stomach, and couldn’t talk for several minutes.
Books can be many things – educational, entertaining, comforting – and sometimes they’re also an outlet for behaviour that wouldn’t be funny in real life but is very, very funny to imagine doing. And when you’re a small person living in a world that’s run by big people, there is something immensely satisfying about seeing other people break the rules of good etiquette.
If you’ve ever loved a Roald Dahl book I’m sure you can recall the voyeuristic delight it provided you as a child. I’ve personally never forgotten Mr Twit’s beard in The Twits, and the way he kept little bits of food in it to snack on later. Absolutely disgusting but also, ingenious?
Here are some of my favourite new and recently-discovered picks for awesomely gross and rude books that kids will love.
PICTURE BOOKS
The Nose Pixies only hit our shelves this month, and it’s already proving a favourite with readers. This picture book debut from David Hunt (the author of Girt) is a fiendishly clever story about tiny pixies who mine ‘nose gold’ – AKA snot. This appropriately gross story is paired with adorable art from award-winning Italian-Australian illustrator Lucia Masciullo, and it’s got a positive message at heart: ‘Don’t pick your nose or the nose pixies will be out of work, possibly even perish.’
Recommended for ages 4-8
Further recommendations
- Poo Bum by Stephanie Blake
- The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew it Was None of His Business by Werner Holzwarth and Wolf Erlbruch
- Everybody Poos by Tarō Gomi
- How to Put Your Parents to Bed by Mylisa Larsen and Babette Cole
- Walter the Farting Dog by William Kotzwinkle, Glenn Murray and Audrey Colman
- Never Use a Knife and Fork by Neil Goddard and Nick Sharratt
- The Pig the Pug series by Aaron Blabey
- The Mr Chicken series by Leigh Hobbs
STORIES FOR BEGINNER READERS
Rabbit’s Bad Habits is another new release that we’ve already fallen in love with. Author Julian Gough said his intention was to create a mash-up of David Attenborough with Winnie the Pooh, and we happen to think he’s done a top job with this tale of an unlikely friendship that involves just a little bit of poo. The illustrations from Jim Field perfectly convey the animal’s expressions – especially when Bear discovers what exactly it is that Rabbit eats… As a bonus, this is the first book in a new series so there will be more to follow.
Recommended for ages 6-9
Further recommendations
- Dory Fantasmagory by Abby Hanlon
- The Adventures of Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey
- The Big Book of Old Tom by Leigh Hobbs
- Freaks Ahoy by Leigh Hobbs
- Horrible Harriet’s Inheritance by Leigh Hobbs
- Marge in Charge by Isla Fisher and Eglantine Ceulemans
- Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake
- Struwwelpeter by Heinrich Hoffmann
- Cautionary Tales for Children by Hilaire Belloc and Edward Gorey
- The Bad Guys series by Aaaron Blabey
STORIES FOR MORE CONFIDENT READERS
Bad Unicorn is the first book in a magical time-travelling multi-world trilogy that will probably (definitely) have young readers gasping with horrified delight. When Max Spencer discovers that he could be a powerful wizard and a killer unicorn is hunting him, he’s not exactly pleased. Especially as Princess the Destroyer is one of the scariest unicorns you’ll ever meet – she loves nothing more than killing and eating other creatures. Children will enjoy Platte F. Clark’s dry sense of humour, and the sharp, sudden plot twists will keep them on their toes. (Plus, books two and three in the trilogy, Fluff Dragon and Good Ogre, have both been released – hooray.)
Recommended for ages 8-12
Further recommendations
- My Life and Other Stuff That Went Wrong by Tristan Bancks and Gus Gordon
- The Day My Bum Went Psycho by Andy Griffiths
- The Bad Book and The Very Bad Book by Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton
- Uncensored (So Wrong Book 1) by Michael Wagner and Wayne Bryant
- Ratburger by David Walliams
- Zombiefied by C.M. Gray
- Laugh Your Head Off by various authors
- The Twits by Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake
- Unreal! The Ultimate Collection: 30 Stories in 30 Years by Paul Jennings
NON-FICTION PICKS
Last year, Melbourne comedy duo Matt Kelly and Richard Higgins gifted children Ickypedia – a dictionary of ridiculous, disgusting new words like ‘spewtiful’ (a beautiful spew), ‘fruin’ (to ruin a perfectly unhealthy snack by adding fruit to it), and ‘udder pants’ (undies for cows). This hilarious book is a great way to get children excited about language and its potential for play.
Recommended for ages 9+
Further recommendations
- Yucky Worms by Vivian French and Jessica Ahlberg
- Oxford Roald Dahl Dictionary
- Roald Dahl’s Completely Revolting Recipes
- That’s Gross!: Weird and Disgusting Aussie Animals by Steve Parish
- The Brain-Boggling Body Book by Nick Arnold and Tony De Saulles
- Ripley’s Believe it or Not!: Eye Popping Oddities by Geoff Tibballs
HONORARY AUTHORS
All these authors have amazing backlists of awesomely gross and rude books to explore further.
