The Maltese Falcon, this isn't. Tiffany Herring, the squinting transgender private eye from Cleethorpes, visits an old college friend in Blackpool and is at once thrust into a murder mystery. Be warned, dear reader; you will not be treated to a cosy seaside holiday.

If ever a thug deserved to be struck dead by a blow from a brass penguin ornament, that hunk of toxic masculinity was Barney Sexton. His terrorised son and daughter, his battered ex-wife, all had commendable motives. But such colourful crooks as Jimmy the Jemmy, Freddie Face and Mandy the Hedgehog are also after the briefcase full of heroin that was last seen in Barney's hands.

Tiffany goes underground in this surreal spoof on American tough guy detective fiction, at some risk to her life and sanity, to solve the dastardly crime. Why not see if you can solve it first, from the safety of your armchair?