Crew Manual Rule #2: learn all names on day one.

Crew Manual Rule #3: don’t get lost.

Crew Manual Rule #5: Crew must not engage in sexual activity on board the bus with passengers or fellow employees.

But then rules were made to be broken, right?

Brian Thacker confesses all as he reveals the best (and worst) of 20 trips as a tour leader around Europe. How he managed to feed a bus load of tourists horse meat spaghetti bolognese, hamburgers made from breakfast cereal, and roosters’ testicles; how he left a lone passenger stranded by the side of a motorway in France for three hours in nothing but his underwear clutching only a purple toothbrush; and how, along the way, he managed to lose his driver, his cook, 10 brightly coloured canal bikes, a large church, his bus and eventually his patience.

Praise for Brian Thacker:

‘True to life, irreverent and very funny’ Courier Mail

‘Brian Thacker will have you spellbound’ Sunday Telegraph

‘An entertaining romp’ Canberra Times