Written by best-selling author, screenwriter, and producer Seth Grahame-Smith (The Lego Batman Movie; Stephen King’s It), with an introduction by horror icon Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), this is a hilarious must-read for any horror movie fan…and it just might save your life.

Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you’re probably trapped in a horror movie. But don’t freak out-just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including-

How to determine what type of horror film you’re trapped in
The five types of slashers and how to defeat them
How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects
How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats
What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you’re already dead