This personal memoir covers fourteen months in the life of an intellectually rigorous gay man wrestling with fundamental issues of meaning and self-acceptance. His insights as he confronts the conflicts between homosexuality and Christianity, mysticism and madness, are informed by his dialogues with the work of thinkers such as Ken Wilber and Jim Marion. Joe’s passionate quest for truth unfolds amid challenges to his health as a recovering addict, a survivor of the psychiatric ward, and a man living with AIDS. With a solid understanding of theology and an ability to see through fads, wishful thinking, and the veils of political correctness, he brings a new level of intellect and understanding to topics such as gay marriage and the challenges of participating in organized religion as a gay man.