Alice wants her own art gallery. But at the moment. she’s running her nightmare boss Angelica’s, which is full of gold-sprayed wheelchairs, hairy pebbles, and heads made of frozen wee.

Her love life’s just hit a major Blue Period as well. Worse, she has to cope with Zeb, a bad-boy artist whose works go for bazillions. But along comes Dan, a handsome, brilliant young portrait painter for whom life is far from easel.

He’s single, skint, and scraping a living holding village hall life-drawing classes. Adding colour is a pop star who will do anything to regain his former fame, plus a sex-crazed billionairess who expects a lot more than mere paintings from the artists she patronises.