After a riotous debut collection, Ant Farm, Simon Rich returns to mine more comedy from our hopelessly terrifying world. In the nostalgic opening chapter, Rich recalls his fear of the Tooth Fairy ( Is there a face fairy? ) and his initial reaction to the Got-your-nose game ( Please just kill me. Better to die than to live the rest of my life as a monster ). He gets inside the heads of two firehouse Dalmatians who can’t understand their masters’ compulsion to drive off to horrible fires every day ( What the hell is wrong with these people? ). And in the final chapter, he tackles one of life’s biggest questions: Does God really have a plan for us? Yes, it turns out. Now if only He could remember what it was… .