Are you freaked out by the mere thought of a bird winking at you? Or do you panic when you hear an unexplained gurgling sound?

Well, listen to this. On Saturday, March 8, at 7-12 p.m., Trey Hamburger heard a second hand account of a teleporting Hot Pocket and started wiggin’ out bad. So he and his amigo Mike Stevens basically went into combat mode and ended up encountering some of the most seriously messed-up shit ever. And they’re STILL FREAKED OUT ABOUT IT. Now, even though these guys aren’t SCIENTISTS, it’s pretty for sure that they might have extrapolated something HUGE, which will have the intellectual community going nuts for weeks.

This is their story.

Ghost/Aliens is probably the first time ever a regular person has investigated this sort of thing. So now the people of planet Earth will finally know the truth about all those levitating towels and dead grandpas popping up all over the place.