If I Die Before I Wake

Emily Koch

If I Die Before I Wake
  • Format
  • Publisher
  • Country
  • Published
  • Pages
  • ISBN

If I Die Before I Wake

Emily Koch

Everyone believes Alex is in a coma, unlikely to ever wake up. As his family debate withdrawing life support, and his friends talk about how his girlfriend Bea needs to move on, he can only listen.

But Alex soon begins to suspect that the accident that put him here wasn’t really an accident. Even worse, the perpetrator is still out there and Alex is not the only one in danger.

As he goes over a series of clues from his past, Alex must use his remaining senses to solve the mystery of who tried to kill him, and try to protect those he loves, before they decide to let him go.

A stunning edge-of-your-seat debut novel with an unforgettable narrator.


Sometimes, when reading a gripping crime novel, you feel almost paralysed with helplessness as things go terribly wrong for your protagonist and all you can do is read in a panic as the author leads them to certain doom.

This feeling is crystallised in If I Die Before I Wake, when, from the very first page, we are in the mind of Alex Jackson, a journalist and rock-climber who is confined to a hospital bed eighteen months after falling from a rock-face and suffering a catastrophic head injury.

The trauma has left him in what others consider a vegetative state, but Alex is fully aware – he can hear, and smell, and when his muscles involuntarily open his eyes, he can even see a little. None of the tests are showing any sign of this, and those who love him are starting to consider that he will never wake. Just as Alex comes to term with it himself, wishing death over this version of life, there’s a shift in what’s happening around him. Secrets are unfurling, overheard visits get more cryptic, but one thing is becoming clear – what happened to Alex was no accident.

Emily Koch has done a superb job of strapping you down and holding you in place, able only to piece together information from snippets of conversation between friends, gossiping nurses, family spats and mournful girlfriends. Alex’s partner, Bea, is starting to worry that someone is following her. Alex’s climbing mate Tom and his girlfriend Rosie are endlessly indecisive about what should be happening. Alex’s sister is angry about a rift from years before that will never heal. Alex, able only to be talked at and never able to respond, can’t take notes, can’t always guarantee his body won’t lull him to sleep or get distracted, and, if no one speaks, is sometimes only left with smell and noise cues to figure out who is in his room – and why they might be there. This makes for an enthralling, read-between-your-fingers story, where the protagonist can’t blunder in, guns blazing, at just the right time, but is left with his wits and determination to figure out what went on that day on the rocks – and what is happening right now.

Fiona Hardy is our monthly crime fiction columnist, and also blogs about crime fiction at readingkills.com.

This item is not currently in-stock, but it’s available to order online.

We are currently experiencing delays in processing and delivering online orders. Click here for more information.

Please note, our stock data is updated overnight, and availability may change throughout the day. Prices are subject to change without notice.

Sign in or become a Readings Member to add this title to a wishlist.