Shortlisted for the Association for the Study of Australian Literature Gold Medal and the Victorian Premier’s Literary Awards
Highly commended for the FAW Christina Stead Award, the Age Book of the Year and the National Book Council CUB Banjo Awards

Adopted as a baby towards the end of World War II, Robert Dessaix grew up haunted by ‘a shaft of silence’ surrounding the question of his natural mother’s identity, and of his own identity and sexuality. In this touching memoir, he recounts the story of a most unusual childhood on Sydney’s North Shore, of his fascination with Russia and the years he spent studying in Cold War Moscow, and of his restless wanderings around the world.