It’s all change for Moist von Lipwig, swindler, conman, and (naturally) head of the Royal Bank and Post Office.

A steaming, clanging new invention, driven by Dick Simnel, the man with t'flat cap and t'sliding rule, is drawing astonished crowds - including a few particularly keen young men armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear - and suddenly it’s a matter of national importance that the trains run on time.

Moist does not enjoy hard work. His …vital input at the bank and post office consists mainly of words, which are not that heavy. Or greasy. And it certainly doesn’t involve rickety bridges, runaway cheeses or a fat controller with knuckledusters. What he does enjoy is being alive, which may not be a perk of running the new railway. Because, of course, some people have OBJECTIONS, and they’ll go to extremes to stop locomotion in its tracks.