The fiction debut of playwright, New Yorker contributor and Academy Award-nominated actor of The Social Network, Jesse Eisenberg.

Written in the droll tradition of Woody Allen, Simon Rich and David Sedaris these short pieces from Jesse Eisenberg are hilarious and ironic.

The series of stories that gives the book its unusual title are written from the point of view of a nine-year-old boy whose mother brings him to expensive Los Angeles restaurants so that she can bill her ex-husband for the meals. One story in this series begins: “Last night, Mom and I went to Thanksgiving dinner at a Vegan family’s house, which is kind of like going to Temple for Christmas. Mom said that Vegans are ‘people that don’t eat any meat or cheese or shave.’”

Other stories imagine discussions in ancient Pompeii just before the volcanic eruption, explore the vagaries of post-gender-normative dating in New York City, and conjure up Alexander Graham Bell’s first five phone calls: “Have you heard anything from Mabel? I’ve been calling her all day, she doesn’t pick up! Yes, of course I dialled the right number -2!”

In different ways, these stories explore what it means to navigate the modern world, and are all illuminated by Eisenberg’s ironic wit and funny, original voice.