Are you in love with a vampire? Are you worried that you might not be his (blood) type? Do you wonder whether that cold stare means he isn't interested ... or if it's because he's been dead for three centuries (nothing personal)? Have you tried to coax him out of his crypt with a flash of your neck or a near-death situation that requires him to save you at the very last possible moment? Have you ever considered what it will be like to introduce him to your mother?

Even though your vampire's skin is transfixingly translucent, he can still be very hard to read. Sometimes he's simply holding back his true feelings, resisting the urge to bite you on the chance that one day you will truly love him. And other times ... well, he's just not that into you. How can you tell? Undead dating specialist Vlad Mezrich has all the answers, utilising quizzes, Top Ten lists, language analysis, real-life (and real-death) testimonials, and fancy charts to show you what you need to do in order to get your vampire and keep him forever.